Lovely

   Exhausted. Frustrated. Overwhelmed. I think that these words describe so many people right now. We have so many expectations that we put on ourselves or that others place upon us and at times it feels that we cannot keep up. During this COVID pandemic so many things have required adaptation. Some things have been good for some people. There was a part of this season where I was able to really take time to dig into the Word and attend some online conferences that were really a blessing. Now I find myself having to work at not feeling like I am drowning under the expectations that are coming at me in life. 

    As a teacher, trying to teach in person students and distance learning students at the same time, it seems like there are not enough hours in the day. We have to do our best to do two jobs at one time, and honestly there is no easy way to do it. In fact many occupations are going through this I am sure. We often want to do everything perfect and push and push ourselves to do above and beyond what we can do. I have realized that this is not healthy. Over the last several weeks as I have worked so hard to do more than one person can, I have come to the conclusion there are times I do not like who I am, because I have become moody, sore, exhausted, and lacking joy. I really feel that I am not alone in this!

When I look at seasons in my life when I am like this, I realize it is because I am out of balance. I am doing “good” things, things I am expected to do, but I am not always doing the best things. It is easy to justify spending 12 hours a day 6-7 days a week when you know it is “important”, but when you do this, you get woefully out of balance. It is one thing to do this for a week or two during a crunch time, but this is not something that can be maintained. This is actually not even Biblical. God started at the very beginning of the Bible setting a standard of rest. He created the world, and then He rested. God knew that to be in a good and healthy relationship with Him, we have to be in a good and healthy relationship in other areas of our lives. We cannot live our lives unbalanced and expect to be successful and have things in their proper perspective. We cannot expect to give our all at work, and have no time for our families, but still have a healthy family. We cannot expect to spend so much time running our children to events and clubs and never have time for God and expect to be in a fulfilling relationship with God.

In Mark 6:31 NLT we read, “Then Jesus said, “Let’s go off by ourselves to a quiet place and rest awhile.” He said this because there were so many people coming and going that Jesus and his apostles didn’t even have time to eat.” Jesus' disciples had been in a busy season of doing ministry. He knew they were tired and needed to be built back up. He knew that they would have to be mindful to do it because there were people coming and going all the time. The people would never quit with their desire to have the attention of Jesus and His disciples, so if they were going to be healthy, they would have to choose to go off by themselves to a quiet place and rest. 
It is the same for us. There are so many demands on our time. So many worthwhile things that need our attention- our jobs, our family, our church, our friends- all of these are good things, but we cannot allow all of these things to overwhelm us and distract us from God. We have to learn to set boundaries and hold to them. 
As a recovering people pleaser, and someone who loves my students, it is hard for me to set boundaries and not feel that I am letting people down. I want to do what is pleasing to people and it is easy to feel that God would want me to do my best to help everyone. I know God wants us to help others, but when I read Matthew 11:28-30, it made me stop and think about God’s desire for me in my work. It says, “Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” (NLT)

I realized, even with work, that I am supposed to take these burdens to Him and receive His rest. I need to seek Him and let Him teach me how to set boundaries and find rest for my soul. If the burdens I bear are too hard and not at all light, then that is an indication that something, somewhere is out of balance and I need to let Him teach me how to handle it.
I have realized that I have not been good at this. I am trying h
ard to find the proper balance and to decide what my boundaries should look like. As a teacher I am more than aware that I will not be able to only work the hours I am paid to work and still get the things done that I need to do. I also know that I can work 20 hours a day and still feel that I have not done enough. I decided I needed to learn to set boundaries. I have prayed about it and asked God for wisdom (James 1:5), talked with others to gain wise counsel (Proverbs 12:15)- some who work with me and some who do not- to try and find appropriate expectations and balance. Through these discussions and prayer time I decided that I would work an extra 8 hours a week beyond my contract hours and then what isn’t finished isn’t finished. One week I did great, this week I failed, but I know that this is a good and fair goal that I need to work towards.
    If you, like me, have felt like life is too overwhelming and that you just can not do this anymore- I encourage you to make sure you ask God to teach you to find rest for your soul.Take time to go away by yourself and rest, and realize that it is really ok to do this. Pray and ask God for wisdom to see what is actually His will for you and what is the world’s will for you. Seek counsel from others around you who are maybe more experienced than you or who can see your situation from another angle. I pray that as you search God’s will and find boundaries that your life will be more fulfilling and full of joy.